It has been quite an aberration these last few years. Despite the agony, anger, and agitation that Jitish has been enduring, he has been nothing short of a Spartan. March has definitely been a mad month; full of deep trenches with momentary gasps of air while we drown. We have had some interesting interactions with cops, neighbors, strangers on the street, old friends and new.
With improvements in his cognition, he has been able to express himself better. He has been working hard to resolve his speech deficiencies and can thankfully communicate better. Most importantly he can now tell us if something hurts, if he is hungry, if he want to go out. However, with improvements in his cognition, he has started to realize his shortfalls post the accident as well. It is inevitable. He has to and should come to terms with reality. It is just heartbreaking to see him struggle and get frustrated, even after two years. The accident in itself has left him shattered, but the brain injury has bought with it a multitude of medical issues – loss of balance, vision problems, nerve damage, loss of sensation.
We have all been working very hard, hoping to just weather the storm, only to see him rise up at the end. But these constant revelations to the problems he is now dealing with is just jarring. I just hope he isn’t dealing with a lot more pain than he can apprise us of. But there is always some new unforgiving discovery in his condition.
Yesterday afternoon, while we were studying (trying to) he just left everything and suddenly stood up. Shut his computer down, mid sentence. Looked up at me and said that he hears a ringing in his ears. That he can’t concentrate on anything and can’t read anymore. My first instinct was to tell him to take a break from writing and sleep it off. He seemed completed irritated and frustrated by the buzzing sound. He promptly got up and tried to sleep. Wanted peace and quiet. I thought that might calm him down. But only a few minutes later he got up and wanted to study again saying, “I have to keep my head occupied”. Looking at him so upset and dejected, my heart just sinks.
After some quick research, it looks like the condition is common in patients who suffered a severe traumatic brain injury. Tinnitus, an auditory dysfunction, characterized by ringing in the ears, could be temporary or permanent. It could be a constant ringing in the ears, or something that goes on and off. My cursory internet check doesn’t help much. I came across a blog by David, who suffers from Tinnitus. I hope he feels better, because then there is hope for us too. There are some articles suggesting that it is an issue that cannot be treated but managed. I believe consulting a specialist is in order. Another issue added to the “need to fix” list.
I just wonder what other medical monstrosities are waiting to be revealed. All because of one unfortunate minute in May.
Image Source: Tinnitus Hearing Solutions