And it gets worse.

Jitish is having a particularly bad few days.

He has woken up in a new body, in a new mind and with a damaged brain. He has woken up to a drastically new life.

Today is worse.

Unfortunately, I have to be at work. And I can’t be of help or support to him or my parents. This is hard. For him. For my parents. And me. I have spoken to the Doctor, the Nurse, and the Therapist today. We speak on the hour, every hour. Appealing to find out what else we can do to help him. Hugs. Food. Order. Medication. Sedatives. Calm. Sleep. Nothing is helping right now.

We’ve put in a word to expedite the appointment with the Department of Psychology. His primary is working on rechecking his medication and sedatives. Do we give him dark chocolate or caffeine. Or should we restrain from it. Unfortunately, the Doctors and Nurses suggest there is not much to do but to keep him “safe”.

Sometimes, there is nothing we can do. Other than just being there and helping him ride through the storm. But at these trying times staying quiet and supportive takes all the strength in the world. He is screaming for medications, screaming to be taken to the emergency room, screaming to just fix the problems already. I wish we could fix it. He has become so much more aware and a lot more physically independent that calming him down is a near impossible feat.

I pray that he calms down. Accepts. And begins to cope. Overcome. I pray that he finds moments to relax and find peace. I pray that it does not get too much to handle. My aging parents are seeing their retirement crash in a tormenting way. I pray they find strength and find a way to calm.

I think it is time to get a caretaker, to ease the burden on us a little bit. Get a fresh face in. Shake up the dynamics within limit. Give my parents some time to breathe.

I pray.

राम रामेति रामेति रमे रामे मनोरमे
सहस्रनाम तत्तुल्यं रामनाम वरानने
Raama Raame[a-I]ti Raame[a-I]ti Rame Raame Manorame |
Sahasra-Naama Tat-Tulyam Raama-Naama Vara-[A]anane ||

6 Comments Add yours

  1. jayakumar nair says:

    Just let us all stand together n fight it out. Though it is tough these days also have to pass.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Rakesh Sourirajan says:

    Just found this video. Praying for his speedy recovery . https://youtu.be/ooKVdBxth4Y

    Like

  3. May god give you all the strength to fight this out. Hare Krishna!

    Like

  4. Shalabh Jain says:

    Hoping these tough times pass soon. May God bless him 😦

    Like

  5. Vinoj Pillai says:

    Hi Soumya,

    I worked with Jitish briefly at KPMG. I remember him as a charismatic, intelligent and friendly person. It’s no surprise to read how hard he is fighting to get his normal life back. I can’t understand what the past year has been like for you and your family, but I have come to admire your strength and the love you have for your husband. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. Love and prayers for a continued recovery.

    Vinoj

    Like

  6. Dava Logsdon says:

    Just found your blog today. I just graduated from Physical Therapy school and your story has touched my deeply knowing how involved physical therapy is in Jitish’s recovery. I am wishing you two the absolute best and you are in my thoughts in prayers. Please keep us updated!

    Like

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